10 reasons why Helen Clark should be Pope

(courtesy of St Molesworth)
1. She passionately believes in the Holy Trinity: Helen Clark, Heather Simpson and Judith Tizard.
2. Celibacy won't be an issue.
3. She knows the last pontiff's distant relative, David Benson-Pope.
4. Judith Tizard looks better covered up in a nun's habit.
5. She wouldn't have to travel so far to her favourite ski fields in the Swiss Alps.
6. Her office is just like a bishopric, even though there are no bishops in it.
7. Her ability to survive in the polls despite having Brian Edwards as her media advisor proves she's capable of miracles.
8. At least we'd know the altar boys would be safe.
9. Everyone knows the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel would look better with her signature on it.
10. She offered to turn wine into water at Peck's farewell and water into wine during Tamihere's working lunches.

And I'd add:
She has had plenty of experience of people confessing their sins to her.